Canned Meat Unicorn Plush Totally Bizarre Think Geek Gift Fantasy Novelty Weird For Sale

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Canned Meat Unicorn Plush

The Short of It :

• 14 ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience
  Measures 19.7cms high
• Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland
• Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can.
  

The Long of It :

What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland.

The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavour very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavour notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

Take home these 14-ounces of delicious unicorn meat, canned for your convenience Imported from a small independent cannery in County Meath, Ireland.

Crunchy horn bits in every bite- an excellent source of Calcium. Tastes like rotisserie chicken but with a hint of marshmallow sweetness. Easily spreadable for sandwiches, hors d'oeuvres, and more. Sparkly meat lends the unmistakable air of class and sophistication to your parties! Unlike other meats, unicorn fat is polyunsaturated and lowers your LDL cholesterol. Not yet approved by the USDA or FDA, but the nuns have eaten it for centuries and they're healthy as horses.

Okay, for real: you can't eat this. It's a dismembered stuffed unicorn in a can. The bottom of the tin is easily removable to gain access to the mini dead unicorn inside. No can opener needed!

We offer you a No Fuss return if you are not 100% satisfied with your purchase. Yes, you read that correctly!

Did we do something wrong?
Although we work darn hard to be perfect, mistakes do happen. If for any reason you receive an item that you did not expect in size, colour or is defective in some way, please contact us immediately so that we can begin to sort it out for you. More often than not, it's a simple process that will result in either a refund for you or another product being sent out straight away.
We would really appreciate it if you could contact us before leaving response as we will get your email first and be able to rectify quickly.
If, for any reason you would like to return your item for a refund or exchange, please contact us by email to let us know. We will happily accept returns for exchange or refund. All packaging must be included and tags attached. If we don't receive the packaging back, we are unable to resell it, so please do your best to return that too.
Once we receive your returned item, we will process your refund. If you are returning the item due to an error on our part, make sure you let us know the cost of the sending the parcel back, so that we can include that too.
Trash Street are unable to refund or exchange the following items;

• Any item of clothing that has been worn or the tags and / or packaging damaged beyond resale.
• Any item that has been used, unless it found to be defective, or not fit for intended purpose.

Australian Domestic
Most domestic items are posted via an Australia Post tracking service. The smaller items, sticker & patches etc are not. You may include Registered Post at an additional cost should you wish to, for $3.50. Please add it to the invoice at checkout. When your item is marked as posted through the system, your tracking number will be sent to you. You can log on to your My console at any time to check the status.
Please email us at anytime if you have any questions regarding the tracking.
We offer combined shipping. If it is not included in the checkout, please send us an email so that we can sort it out for you. All orders over $100 (being paid for in the one transaction), will include free shipping. Please wait for an invoice to be sent showing you the reduced amount.
Express Delivery (1-3 Business Days) is available within Australia. If you would like to add this, please do so through checkout, or send a request for the new total to include Express.

International
International Postage is available to all countries. Please check the Postage and Payments tab on the listing to obtain a quote. Or you can email contact us by email. International Registered Post is recommended.

We accept all methods of payments. They are listing in the payments section at the top of the listing.

You can choose bank deposit, PayPal, money order or cheque.

We can also take payment over the phone from your credit card. Please call 0418 799 145 if you would like to do this.

We welcome your contact. Feel free to contact us anytime at contact us by email. We will reply pretty quickly. If it's not straight away, then definitely within 12 hours. If you have not heard from us, please be assured that we are not ignoring you, your message may have been caught up in cyberspace somewhere.

We have a Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/TrashStreet too. You can contact us via that as well.

You can also phone us on 0418 799 145. Please call between 10am and 6pm AEST and be sure to leave a message or SMS if we don't answer and we'll get straight back to you.

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