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DECORUM

TREATISE ON ETIQUETTE AND DRESS

CHAPTER I

INTRODUCTORY

CHAPTER II

ENTRANCE INTO SOCIETY

THE GOOD WILL OF WOMEN

SOCIAL CONNECTIONS

BEING NATURAL

WITH WHOM TO ASSOCIATE

WHAT TO TOLERATE

COMMON PLACE SPEECH

MODESTY

RESPECTFUL DEFERENCE

EASE OF MANNER

DISTINTIONS IN CONDUCT

LONG USAGE

SELECTING COMPANY

GOOD SENSE

QUALITIES OF A GENTLEMAN

WHOM TO IMITATE

CHAPTER III

INTRODUCTIONS BY RELATIVES

SALUTING AND SHAKING HANDS

FIRST INTRODUCTION

SECOND OR SUBSEQUENT MEETING

THE OBLIGATIONS OF INTRODUCTION

AFTER AN INTRODUCTION

INTRODUCTION WHILE TRAVELING

INTRODUCTORY LETTERS TO LADIES

RECIEPT OF INTRODUCTORY LETTERS

REQUESTING A LETTER OF INTRODUCTION

INTRODUCTIONS TO SOCIETY

INTRODUCTIONS WHILE TRAVELING

INTRODUCTORY LETTER TO LADIES

RECIEPT OF INTRODUCTORY LETTERS

REQUESTING A LETTER OF INTRODUCTION

INTRODUCTIONS TO SOCIETY

BESTOWING OF TITLES

PROPER FORMS OF INTRODUCTIONS

CEREMONIOUS PHRASES

CASUAL INTRODUCTIONS

SPEAK THE NAME DISTINCTLY

INTRODUCTION OF A LADY TO GENTLEMEN

INTRODUCTIONS IN OTHER COUNTRIES

INTRODUCTIONS WITH PERMISSION

INTRODUCTIONS WITHOUT PERMISSION

MEETING ON THE STREET

MORNING VISITORS

INTRODUCING YOURSELF

ASSISTING A LADY IN DIFFICULTY

CHAPTER IV

SALUTATIONS

FORMS OF SALUTATIONS

SALUTATIONS OF DIFFERENT NATIONS

THE BOW

WORDS OF SALUTATION

FOREIGNER’S SALUTATIONS

SALUTATIONS ON THE STREET

MEETING IN THE STREET

BOW OF CIVILITY

SALUTING LADIES

SHAKING HANDS

ETIQUETTE OF HANDSHAKING

THE KISS

THE KISS OF RESPECT

THE KISS OF FRIENDSHIP

WOMEN KISSING IN PUBLIC

CHAPTER V

SOCIAL INTERCOURSE

THE VALUE OF KNOWLEDGE

A GOOD CONSCIENCE

GOOD CHARACTER

A WELL INFORMED MAN

LIBERAL AND SCIENTIFIC INFORMATION

EMPLOYING LEISURE MOMENTS

SOFTENING NATURAL FEROCITY

THE ARTS OF PEACE

DIFFERENCES IN SOCIAL INTERCOURSE

SLIGHT REFLECTIONS

IMPROVING BY CONVERSATION

LEARN SOMETHING FROM ALL

BE NOT TOO CONFIDENT

NARROW AND LIMITED VIEWS

CONSULTING WITH OTHERS

DIFFERENCES OF OPINION

CHAPTER VI

SUBJECTS TO BE AVOIDED

TALK TO PEOPLE OF THEIR OWN AFFAIRS

AVOID TALKING TOO MUCH OF THEIR PROFESSIONS

AVOID CLASSICAL QUOTATIONS

MODULATION

SLANG

USING PROVERBS AND PUNS

AVOID LONG ARGUMENTS

INTERUPTING A PERSON WHILE SPEAKING

WHISPERING IN SOCIETY

MAKE THE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION KNOWN

WITTICISMS

AVOID UNFAMILIAR SUBJECTS

INTRODUCING ANECDOTES

CORRECT PRONUNCIATION

AVOID REPEATING

CULTIVATING THE MIND

MUSIC

“A LOW VOICE”

TALK WELL ABOUT TRIFLES

DOUBLE ENTENDRES

INDELICATE WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS

PROFANITY

LISTENING

GIVE CREDIT FOR WHAT YOU LEARN

THE BEST KIND OF CONVERSATION

AVOID WOUNDING THE FEELINGS OF ANOTHER

USE PLAIN WORDS

AVOID WIT WHICH WOUNDS

PROPER RESERVE

PROFESSIONAL PECULARITIES

MODESTY

CONVERSING WITH LADIES

CONCLUSION

CHAPTER VII

VISITS

VISITS OF CONGRATULATIONS

VISITS OF CEREMONY OR CALLS

TIME TO MAKE CEREMONIOUS VISITS

KEEP AN ACCOUNT OF CEREMONIAL VISITS

VISITS OF CEREMONY AMONG FRIENDS

CALLING AT A INCONVENIENT HOUR

VISITING AT HOTELS

VISITING THE SICK

STYLE OF CONVERSATION

VISITS OF CONDOLENCE

BEFORE GOING ABROAD

TAKING LEAVE OF A FAMILY

MEETING OTHER VISITORS

GENTLEMEN’S MORNING CALL

RETURNING FROM THE COUNTRY

CARDS FOR CEREMONIOUS VISITS

CALLING ON STRANGERS

ENGAGED OR NOT AT HOME

EVENING VISITS

FRIENDLY CALLS

KEEP ACCOUNT OF VISITS

OMITING VISITS

CEREMONIOUS VISITS

SUITABLE TIMES FOR VISITS

HOW TO TREAT VISITORS

TAKING A SEAT WHILE VISITING

PAY EQUAL ATTENTION TO ALL

TAKING A FRIEND WITH YOU VISITING

PRIVILAGES OF LADIES

VISITING ACQUAINTANCES ALONE

A LADY CALLING ON GENTLEMEN

PREFERENCE OF SEATS

RESPECT TOWARD THE FEEBLE AND AGED

DISCONTINUING WORK

VISITING CARDS

ADDRESS ON CARDS

KEEPING CARDS

LAYING ASIDE THE BONNET

HABITUAL VISITS

SHORT VISITS

UNINTENTIONAL INTRUSIONS

TRUE HOSPITALITY

TREATMENT OF GUESTS

DUTIES OF THE VISITOR

CHAPTER VIII

DINNER-PARTIES AND BALLS

INVITATIONS

REPLY TO INVITATION

ARRIVING TO LATE

MANNERS AT TABLE

DRESS NEATLY FOR DINNER PARTY

HOW LONG TO REMAIN AFTER DINNER

CONGENIAL COMPANY

NUMBER OF GUESTS

MANNER OF WRITING INVITATIONS

INVITATION ACCEPTED

INVITATION DECLINED

INVITATION TO TEA PARTY

RECEPTION OF GUESTS

PROCEEDING TO DINNER

ARRANGING GUESTS AT TABLE

INTERMINGLING GUESTS

ASKING THE WAITER FOR ANYTHING

PRAISING EVERY DISH

PICKING YOUR TEETH AT THE TABLE

SELECTING A PARTICULAR DISH

DUTIES OF HOST AND HOSTESS

PARING FRUIT FOR A LADY

DIPPING BREAD INTO PRESERVES

SOUP

FISH

GENERAL RULES REGARDING DINNER

WATCHING HOW OTHERS DO

URGING GUEST OT EAT

WAITING ON OTHERS

MONOPOLIZING CONVERSATION

SIGNAL FOR LEAVING THE TABLE

DANCING

GIVING A BALL

CHOICE OF GUESTS

ISSUING INVITATIONS

PREJUDICES AGAINST DANCING

NOTES OF INTERROGATION

VARIETY OF TOILET

CHOICE OF ATTIRE

EVENING PARTY

THE CLOAK ROOM

WHEN TO ARRIVE

REFUSING TO DANCE

GIVING A REASON FOR NOT DANCING

HOW TO ASK A LADY TO DANCE

LEAVING A BALL ROOM

TALKING TO MUCH

WALL FLOWERS

DUTIES OF GENTLEMEN

DUTIES OF LADIES

WHILE DANCING

RESERVE AND POLITENESS

WHEN NOT TO DANCE

GRACE AND MODESTY

PRIVATE PARTY

PUBLIC BALLS

VISIT OF THANKS

DEPORTMENT IN PUBLIC PLACES

GENERAL RULES FOR A BALL ROOM

CONCLUSION

CHAPTER IX

STREET ETIQUETTE

RECOGNIZING FRIENDS ON THE STREET

OMITTING TO RECOGNIZE AQUAINTANCES

SHAKING HANDS WITH A LADY

YOUNG LADIES CONDUCT ON THE STREET

ACCOMPANYING VISITORS

FULFILLING AN ENGAGEMENT

CONDUCT WHILE SHOPPING

TAKING OFF YOUR GLOVE

ASKING INFORMATION

CROSSING A MUDDY STREET

EXPENSIVE DRESSES IN THE STREET

CARRIAGE OF A LADY IN PUBLIC

FORMING ACQUAINTANCES IN PUBLIC

DEMANDING ATTENTIONS

MEETING A LADY AQUAINTANCE

STOPPING A LADY ON THE STREET

PASSING AQUAINTANCES

CROWDING BEFORE ANOTHER

GIVING THE ARM

WHEN TO OFFER YOUR ARM

RETURNING A SALUTE

PASSING BEFORE A LADY

CORNER LOAFERS

SHOUTING

GENTLEMEN WALKING WITH A LADY

CROSSING THE STREET WITH A LADY

GENERAL RULES

PASSING THROUGH A CROWD

SALUTING A LADY

ASCENDING A MOUNTAIN

MEETING ON THE STREET

INTRUSIVE INQUIRIES ON MEETING

SMOKING WHILE WALKING

TAKING OFF YOUR HAT

CHAPTER X

RIDING AND DRIVING

ETIQUETTE OF RIDING

RIDING IN PUBLIC

RIDING WITH LADIES

ASSISTING A LADY TO MOUNT

PACE IN RIDING

MEETING FRIENDS ON HORSEBACK

MEETING A LADY

ASSISTING A LADY TO ALIGHT FROM A HORSE

ENTERING A CARRIAGE

ALIGHTING FROM A CARRIAGE

ASSISTING A LADY INTO A CARRIAGE

CHAPTER XI

TRAVELING

A LADY TRAVELING ALONE

ON ARRIVAL OF THE TRAIN

ARRIVING AT DESTINATION

RUSHING FOR TICKET OFFICE

PERSONAL COMFORT

A LADY TRAVELING ALONE

RUSHING FOR THE TABLE

SOCIAL INTERCOURSE WHILE TRAVELING

OCCUPYING TOO MANY SEATS

RETAINING A SEAT

ETIQUETTE OF STREET CARS

ETIQUETTE OF FERRY BOATS

CHECKING FAMLIARITY

DUTY OF LADIES TO OTHER LADIES IN TRAVELING

CONSULTING THE COMFORT OF OTHERS

ATTENDING TO THE WANTS OF OTHERS

SELFISHNESS OF LADIES

CHAPTER XII

ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES

CHURCH ETIQUETTE

VISITING AN ARTIST

CONDUCT IN PICTURE GALLERIES

CONDUCT IN OPERA OR CONCERT

CONDUCT IN OPERA, THEATER OR PUBLIC HALL

CHURCH OR FANCY FAIRS

PICNICS

HOW TO DRESS

DUTIES OF GENTLEMEN

COMMITTEE OF ARRANGEMENTS

BOATING

ROWING

LADIES ROWING

CHAPTER XIII

LETTER WRITING

LETTERS OF INTRODUCTION

LETTERS OF FRIENDSHIP

THE FAMILY LETTER

PARENTS TO CHILDREN

LETTERS OF BUSINESS

DIRECTIONS

INVITATION TO A PARTY

GENERAL ADVICE TO LETTER WRITERS

CHAPTER XIV

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE

CHARMS FOR PROCURING LOVE

A WOMAN’S JUDGMENT

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

USAGES OF SOCIETY

LOVE A UNIVERSAL PASSION

A LADY’S POSITION

A GENTLEMAN’S POSITION

CONDUCT OF A GENTLEMAN TOWARD LADIES

CONDUCT OF A LADY TOWARD GENTLEMEN

PREMATURE DECLARATION

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

TRIFLING WITH A MAN’S FEELINGS

A POOR TRIUMPH

A STILL GREATER CRIME

THE REJECTED LOVER

DUTY OF A REJECTED SUITOR

UNMANLY CONDUCT

ENCOURAGING THE ADDRESS OF A GENTLEMAN

PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE

FORMS OF PROPOSALS

PROPOSAL ACCEPTED

PROTRACTED ENGAGEMENTS

“ASKING PAPA”

AN ENGAGEMENT RING

THE RELATIONS OF AN ENGAGED COUPLE

DEMONSTRATION OF AFFECTION

KEEPING LATE HOURS

A DOMINEERING LOVER

BREAKING AN ENGAGEMENT

BREAKING AN ENGAGEMENT BY LETTER

ACKNOWLEDGING SUCH LETTER

THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY

GENERAL RULES

CONGRADULATIONS AFTER THE CEREMONY

CEREMONY IN CHURCH

LEAVING THE CHURCH

MARRIAGE FEES

LET JOY BE UNCONFINED

THE WEDDING BREAKFAST

SENDING CARDS

WEDDING CARDS

CALLING ON A NEWLY-MARRIED COUPLE

A JOYOUS PERIOD

PROFESSIONAL CALL WHILE RECEIVING CALLS

RETURNING WEDDING VISITS

CHAPTER XV

DOMESTIC ETIQUETTE AND DUTIES

DUTIES OF THE WIFE

AVOID ALL CAUSES FOR COMPLAINT

BEWARE OF CONFIDANTS

REGARDING MONEY MATTERS

HOW TO KEEP A HOME

AVOID CONCEALMENT

AVOID ALL BICKERINGS

BECOMING CONDUCT FOR A WIFE

SOLOMON’S DESCRIPTION OF A WOMAN

DUTIES OF A HUSBAND

THINGS TO REMEMBER

ACCOMPANY YOUR WIFE TO CHURCH

A BREACH OF DOMESTIC ETIQUETTE

TAKE YOUR WIFE INTO YOUR CONFIDENCE

LET HER MANAGE HER OWN AFFAIRS

AVOID UNNECESSARY INTERFERENCE

BE ALWAYS READY TO PRAISE

AVOIDE COMPARISONS

CONCLUSIONS

CHAPTER XVI

TABLE ETIQUETTE

THE BREAKFAST TABLE

GENERAL RULES FOR BEHAVIOR AT TABLE

LUNCHEON

DINNER

CHAPTER XVII

MISCELLANEOUS RULES OF ETIQUETTE

PRESENTS AMONG FRIENDS

PRESENTS TO MARRIED LADIES

PRESENTS BY MARRIED LADIES

PRAISING PRESENTS

MAKING PARADE

HOW TO RECEIVE A PRESENT

REFUSING A GIFT

VALUE OF PRESENTS

GOVERNING OUR MOODS

CIVILITY DUE TO ALL WOMEN

KEEPING ENGAGEMENTS

REQUISITES TO GAIN ESTEEM

CONTEMPT AND HAUGHTINESS

TALKING OF YOURSELF

A FILTHY HABIT

AVOID LOUD CONVERSATION

CONSULTING YOUR TIME PIECE

REMOVING THE HAT

SMOKING IN PRESENCE OF LADIES

RELINQUISHING A SEAT FOR LADIES

A MAN’S PRIDE AND PRINCIPES

AVOID RELIGIOUS TOPICS

ATTENTION TO YOUNG PEOPLE IN SOCIETY

REVERENTIAL REGARD FOR RELIGION

ABSENT MINDEDNESS

AFFECTATION

CONFIDENCE AND SECRESY

A WOMAN’S GOOD NAME

SINGING IN COMPANY

GENTLEMEN AT EVENING PARTIES

ACCEPTING AN INVITATION

EXPRESSING UNFAVORABLE OPINIONS

CHECKING HIMSELF IN CONVERSATION

CAUTIOUSNESS AND SELF CONTROL

AVOID ARGUMENT

CIVILITY

COURTESY

IMPROPER ACTIONS AND ATTITUDES

GOOD MAXIMS

POLITENESS

PRINCIPLES OF GOOD BREEDING

ATTENTION TO SMALL MATTERS

CHAPTER XVIII

WASHINGTON ETIQUETTE

SOCIAL DUTIES OF THE PRESIDENT

PRESIDENTIAL RECEPTIONS

PRIVATE CALL UPON THE PRESIDENT

SOCIAL DUTIES OF CABINATE OFFICERS AND THEIR FAMILIES

SOCIAL DUTIES OF CONGRESSMEN AND THEIR FAMILIES

CHAPTER XIX

BUSINESS

CHAPTER XX

ANNIVERSARY WEDDINGS

THE PAPER WEDDING

THE WOODEN WEDDING

THE TIN WEDDING

THE CRYSTAL WEDDING

THE CHINA WEDDING

THE SILVER WEDDING

THE GOLDEN WEDDING

THE DIAMOND WEDDING

PRESENTS AT ANNIVERSARY WEDDINGS

INVITATIONS TO ANNIVERARY WEDDINGS

MARRIAGE CEREMONY AT ANNIVERSARY WEDDINGS

CHAPTER XXI

FUNERALS

INVITATIONS TO A FUNERAL

CHARGE OF AFFAIRS AT A FUNERAL

EXPENSE OF A FUNERAL

GENERAL RULES OF ETIQUETTE CONCERNING HOUSES OF MOURNING

CONVEYANCES FOR A FUNERAL

EXHIBITING A CORPSE

RECEIVING GUESTS AT A FUNERAL

PROCEEDING TO THE CEMETARY

FLOWERS A A FUNERAL

OTHER DECORATIONS UPON THE COFFIN

AFTER THE FUNERAL

NOTIFICATION OF DEATH

OBLIGATION TO ATTEND A FUNERAL

SECLUSION OF THE BEREAVED FAMILY

PERIOD OF MOURNING

CHAPTER XXII

DRESS

FIRST IMPRESSION

CONSISTENCY IN DRESS

PLAIN DRESSING

TOO RICH DRESSING

ELEGANT DRESSING

APPROPRIATE AND BECOMING DRESS

NEGLECT OF DRESS

HABITUAL ATTENTION TO ATTIRE

AN AMIABLE EXTERIOR

DRESS THE APPROPIATE FINISH OF BEAUTY

TASTE

SIMPLICITY IN DRESS

DELICACY AND HARMONY

USING PAINTS

COLOR AND COMPLEXION

DRESS TO SUIT THE OCCASION

EVENING DRESS

BRIGHT COLORED GLOVES

NEVER DRESS ABOVE YOUR STATION

THINKING ABOUT YOUR DRESS

MORNING DRESS FOR HOME

MORNING DRESS FOR VISITOR

MORNING DRESS FOR STREET

BUSINESS WOMAN’S DRESS

THE PROMENADE

MATERIAL OF A WALKING SUIT

CARRIAGE DRESS

RIDING DRESS

DRESS FOR RECEIVING CALLS

DRESS OF HOSTESS

DINNER DRESS

DRESS OF GUESTS AT DINNER PARTY

ORDINARY EVENING DRESS

DRESS FOR EVENING CALL

DRESS FOR SOCIAL PARTY

THE SOIREE AND BALL

DRESS FOR CHURCH

DRESS FOR THE THEATER

DRESS FOR LECTURE AND CONCERT

DRESS FOR THE OPERA

CROQUET AND SKATING COSTUMES

COSTUMES FOR COUNTRY AND SEA SIDE

BATHING COSTUMES

COSTUMES FOR TRAVELING

GOING TO EUROPE

WEDDING OUTFIT

THE WEDDING DRESS

DRESS OF BRIDEGROOM

DRESS OF BRIDESMAIDS

TRAVELING DRESS OF BRIDE

MARRIAGE OF A WIDOW

DRESS OF GUESTS AT WEDDING RECEPTION

THE TROUSSEAU

CHAPTER XXIII

HARMONY OF COLOR IN DRESS

SIZE IN RELATION TO DRESS AND COLORS

CHAPTER XXIV

THE TOILETTE

HEALTH AND BEAUTY

THE DRESSING ROOM

LADY’S DRESSING ROOM

GENTLEMAN’S DRESSING ROOM

THE BATH

THE AIR BATH

THE TEETH

THE SKIN

THE EYES, LASHES, AND BROWS

THE HAIR

THE BEARD

THE FEET

CHAPTER XXV

TOILETTE RECIPES

TO REMOVE FRECKLES

TO REMOVE WRINKLES

TO REMOVE DISCOLORATION OF THE SKIN

TO REMOVE SUNBURN

COLD CREAM

TO CURE CHILBLAINS

HAIR CURLING FLUID

TO PREVENT THE HAIR FROM FALLING OUT

RYE TOOTH POWDER

BANDOLINE

ROSE WATER

LIP SALVE

TO ACQUIRE A BRIGHT AND SMOOTH SKIN

STICKING PLASTER

TO IMPROVE THE COMPEXION

BURNS

PIMPERNEL WATER

TO SOFTEN THE HANDS

FOR ROUGNESS OF THE SKIN

FOR ROUGH AND CHAPPED HANDS

TO PREVENT HAIR FROM TURNING GREY

TO SOFTEN AND BEAUTIFY THE HAIR

TO REMOVE PIMPLES

TO REMOVE TAN

CURE FOR CORNS

CHAPPED LIPS

REMEDY FOR BLACK TEETH

TO CLEAN THE TEETH AND GUMS

POMADE AGAINST BALDNESS

COLOGNE

OX MARROW POMATUM

DENTIFRICE

TO CLEAN KID GLOVES

ANOTHER

HOW TO MAKE SHOES AND BOOTS WATERPROOF

TO REMOVE A TIGHT RING

TO LOOSEN STOPPERS OF TOILETTE BOTTLES

CLEANING JEWELRY

TO CLEAN KID BOOTS

CLEANING SILVER

TO REMOVE GREASE SPOTS

TO CLEAN PATENT LEATHER BOOTS

TO TAKE MILDEW OUT OF LINEN

TO REMOVE STAINS AND SPOTS FROM SILK

TOOTHACHE PREVENTIVE

CERTAIN CURE FOR A FELON

CURE FOR THE GROUP

CURE FOR INGROWING NAILS ON TOES

TO REMOVE GREASE SPOTS FROM WOOLEN CLOTH

TO CLEAN WOOLEN CLOTH

TO TAKE INK SPOTS FOR LINEN

HOW TO DARKEN FADED FALSE HAIR

HOW TO WASH LACES

TO KEEP HAIR IN CURL

PUTTING AWAY FURS FOR THE SUMMER

REMEDY FOR BURNT KID OR LEATHER SHOES

TO CLEAN SILKS AND RIBBONS

TO CHOOSE GOOD BLACK SILK

HOW TO WASH A NUBIA

HOW TO TAKE STAINS OUT OF SILK

TO REMOVE ACID STAINS FROM SILK

HOW TO WHITEN LINEN

PROTECTION AGAINST MOTHS

TO EXTRACT PAINT FROM GARMENTS

TO REMOVE SPOTS OF PITCH OR TAR

GOOD BINDING AND HINGES

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